i'm 43 and a divorced mother of 2. in january 2019 i met the man i thought i could spend the rest of my life with.
we were happy and even though our relationship wasn't perfect (like all relationships) i thought we had a chance and were building a life together with our young kids.
background on me - i've been divorced since 2012 after 12 years of marriage.
Thank you all again. I value everything I have read thus far.
I agree about not allowing myself to get "sucked back in" or getting "smoothed talked into it". I feel so much stronger now that I have the knowledge to back me up.
Thanks again, you've all helped me more than you know.
i'm 43 and a divorced mother of 2. in january 2019 i met the man i thought i could spend the rest of my life with.
we were happy and even though our relationship wasn't perfect (like all relationships) i thought we had a chance and were building a life together with our young kids.
background on me - i've been divorced since 2012 after 12 years of marriage.
I've gotten a lot of helpful information on this board. I'm not sure what a troll is but I can assure you all I'm a real person, this is a real situation and it's happening to me right now!
I've been checking back frequently to read the new posts and I thank you all. I did receive a phone call from him today which floored me. He told me this on his drive back home from bible study (which he had asked me to go and of course I said no). He said how he is so confused and lost. How he has all these thoughts running through his mind. How he wants to just do "the right thing". The statements that came at me like a lightning bolt were:
"What if the way I was raised is wrong?" and "what if the way I was raised f***ed me up in the head?"
To hear him say those words out loud, i felt there is a ray of hope for him. That he may be able to figure it out and realize how wrong it is for him to go back.
To be clear, our relationship is over but I still care deeply for him and want him to be happy. I think we could still be friends, I expressed to him that he is not alone and I will be here for him as a friend if he needs someone to talk to. I have spent the last couple of days studying and reading everything I can on JW's history and beliefs. I cannot blame him for this, it's not his fault how he was raised and what he was taught. He is a good person and i hope and pray that he will see it for what it really is.
Thanks again to everyone for helping me.
Becky
i'm 43 and a divorced mother of 2. in january 2019 i met the man i thought i could spend the rest of my life with.
we were happy and even though our relationship wasn't perfect (like all relationships) i thought we had a chance and were building a life together with our young kids.
background on me - i've been divorced since 2012 after 12 years of marriage.
I'm 43 and a divorced mother of 2. In January 2019 I met the man I thought I could spend the rest of my life with. We were happy and even though our relationship wasn't perfect (like all relationships) I thought we had a chance and were building a life together with our young kids.
Background on me - I've been divorced since 2012 after 12 years of marriage. I've had a few failed relationships until I met this last guy. I knew he was raised JW but he was not practicing and we went to a non denomination Christian church (I was raised Catholic and this was a good compromise).
Fast forward to 2 days after we all celebrated Xmas he ends our relationship over night because he says he is "recommitting his life to God" and "fighting to be reinstated with JW". I'm numb! He is sorry and apologizing repeatedly for doing this but he feels this is the "right thing" and he needs to "clear his conscience" with God. He calls our relationship "immoral" because we are not married but that was never a problem until now. His whole family is JW and his mother is very sick. He was kicked out or left, I'm not sure which, about 18 years ago and in between his had 2 kids out of wedlock by 2 women, been to jail and has battled with addiction prior to meeting me. He is now clean and sober for over a year, has a good job and spends time with his kids. I also feel that his family have a strong pull on this situation because even though they all turned their backs on him when he was going through hard times, they are now so welcoming and everyone is coming out to support his decision to return. I'm heart broken and so confused. I've never met any of these people but I feel like the weed in the flower bed that needs to be eradicated. I can just imagine what they think.
I have tried to reason with him. He claims we have a difference in religious belief but really we both believe in God and we both are Christian. The problem now is that he will not meet me half way, he is not willing to compromise. He ended the relationship and now the only way is his way, the JW way. I have searched deep in my heart and even though I love him dearly, I feel I can't comply for my sake and the sake of my young kids. I'm so confused, why would God take him away from us? Why now when everything was going well for him and we were happy?
What should i do? How can I make him see that he doesn't need to be back in JW to be a Christian and to be close to God? Or have I lost him forever? Does God truly not want us to be together?
I'm usually a very private person but this situation has never presented itself to me and i don't know who else to turn to. I don't even know if I should be posting this here...
Thank you for listening.
Becky
